Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Randomize
