hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
