What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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