Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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