And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize