Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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