It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
