Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Congratulations! We have a period
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