I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
