It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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