Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Still dying that you shit outside
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
