I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I can't put those talents on a resume
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
