I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
