It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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