Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
