One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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