For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize
