i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
