Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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