I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
