clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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