My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
