Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
