Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
what is it with giant penises always finding me
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
