Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i love accidental penises.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Randomize