real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
