I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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