The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
