If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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