i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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