Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
