I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize