By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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