Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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