Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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