i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
