Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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