I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
