Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
