the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
