i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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