therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize