Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
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