What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
3 2 1 whiskey
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
please don't ironically join a cult
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