Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
