I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I want her autograph on my taint
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
