I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
