Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize