is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
3pm strippers are depressing
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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