yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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