I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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