It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Tell her she can't have a vagina
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
