I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
