She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Randomize
